Outsourcing our self-worth

The takeaway is that we are not enough.

We’ve all been the recipient of unsolicited opinions. Those comments others make and you can’t put a finger on their intentions. Maybe the intention was to tear you down. Maybe it wasn’t. Nonetheless, the takeaway is often that we are not enough. They make us feel small. They make us feel unworthy. That we are less.

Here’s where I could say “of course you are enough,” “don’t listen to the opinions of others”

But that seems a little trite. Of course we know these things on the surface. We know that we aren’t less because of the opinion of someone else. But that’s where knowing and feeling diverge. 

When we unpack the situation, we realize that we feel like less because we already think we are less and our fears  are merely being confirmed.

We are outsourcing our self worth.

Umm what??

We are outsourcing our own self-worth.

Sit with that for a minute. 

We just gave away our power to someone else. 

We let someone else decide for us.

The definition of self worth is “the sense of one’s own value or worth as a person.”

It is not, what the neighbor thinks my value is. Or what my friend thinks my value is. 

So what is your worth? That’s where the work begins. Sitting with the feelings of being uncomfortable. Feelings of being unworthy. It’s not easy work. But when we do the work and realize that we are in fact worthy, that we are enough. We keep that power.

So my challenge to you is to do the work. Uncover how amazing you are and stop outsourcing your self worth.